I asked to review this so it’s my fault. I wanted to see the fun movie that is Grease on the big screen. And I love to sing. I’m not a great singer. I’m what I refer to as a team singer, as in "best when enjoyed ensemble." So I thought this would be perfect. Well, I was wrong. It would have been more fun if there weren’t the pile of 11year old girls reading almost dirty words on the screen. It was like seeing puppies in puppy mill; adorable yet horrifying.

Two contradictory things happened. Paramount couldn’t commit to just writing out the dirty words and I was made more aware that written dirty words are easier for children to understand. So I was uncomfortable and "old souls" were created.

The movie is dirty. If you don’t know, it’s full of talk of "pussy wagons" and "bite the weenie." It’s JUST juvenile enough for an 11 year old to get the sex jokes.

I saw this movie when I was 11 and I loved it. Like every girl kid in that audience (and some boy kids) I sang along with the soundtrack and got that it was vaguely dirty. I sneakily laughed at the "lousy with virginity" comments and the sexual overtone. But I didn’t get ALL of the comments. Because there was mumbling, because I couldn’t imaging what "chicks will cream" might mean, because there was very little sexual activity in my childhood. (Even then I knew that was a "win)." The song, "Greased Lighting" is a celebration of the action the guys are gonna get when this thing is up and running. But the choreography of the dance number was so cool; I remember not liking the song as much as I liked the car at the end of the song. So I never really listened to the words.

But in the Grease Sing-A-Long, all the lines are typed out; bleeding like a karaoke feed with hearts and stars superimposed over the film. And when the lyrics get dirty, instead of just going with it, they fucking put *&@# symbols. Or, even worse, "pussy wagon" has cat clipart to represent the word. "Cream" is represented by foaming gel graphics. Yikes.

Here is what I say to the next sing-a-long/interactive movie: take a note from Rocky Horror Picture Show. If people don’t know the words, it’s not ready to be interactive.

People know the words to Grease, you don’t have to creepily play them. Let me just sing the words that I think are the words and enjoy the movie. I guess I should just have a party at my house, invite my friends and sing along, like God intended it to be done – from memory.

--Jackie Kashian, whose new gift pack in the CFN store is not at all creepy.